This year has been NUUUTS.

I had a plan. It was a good one. I was excited.

And then . . .

Life happened.

Sound familiar?

In June I quit my job to pursue my passion — something I’ve been dreaming about for a long time.

So (as one does), I laid out a plan for a transition that would be as smooth and seamless as possible. Not bragging — but it was perfect.

I can hear you snort laughing. That’s rude.

This was my plan: Five weeks in the U.S., quality time with quality people and a new work visa that would allow me to do the new thing.

Oh . . . and selfies with 500 people. I was feeling optimistic.

Then — back to China and dive in.

So simple. What could go wrong?

Seriously? Again with the snort laughing?

I took a deep breath . . . and jumped.

Here’s what I didn’t plan on.

• My father died — two weeks into my perfect plan.

• My visa was delayed — turning 5 weeks into 14.

• My kids needed to get back for school — separating me from my family for 6 weeks.

• I missed the first jobs that I had lined up for the grand new thing.

• Finally back in China and struggling to regain stability — my father’s wife died — sending us back to the States for an unanticipated, unbudgeted week.

• And then, just in case there was anything left in my perfect plan that had not been disrupted … Cornonavirus.

Plans are awesome. Until they’re not. Am I right?

The great Scottish poet, Robert Burns said it best:

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.

Ironically — China just celebrated the Lunar New Year … of the mouse.

Coincidence?

Disruptions are an inevitable reality and for anyone who has chosen a global life. That’s part is not up to you. What is up to you is how you respond.

Here are five ways to stay on track when your best-laid plans go awry

ONE: STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM ROLE

Sorry. We have to start here. Everything else hangs on it.

I’ve often said that expats are bold adventurers. The uncertainty is part of the deal and we know that going in. By nature, we are not intimidated by ambiguous challenges on the front end.

Political unrest? Not a problem.

Riots in the streets? Sounds exciting.

Ebola virus? Bring it on!!

However, we are also the first to fall apart in the airport when our plane is delayed

Stories have characters and the role of victim is the easiest part to play because it is 100% passive. Just lay there. Look sad. Put it on Instagram and wait for the sympathetic comments to roll in.

But “woe is me” thinking hands the victory to anything blocking your path. Time wasted on soliciting sympathy creates a second great wave of disruption.

And frankly, sympathy is intoxicating. It feels good — so it’s easy to get stuck there. In the big picture though, you’re not moving forward while you’re waiting for the hero to rescue you.

You are not the victim. Choose a different role.

One short disclaimer: Some stories have legitimate victims — but this is not a post about trauma or tragedy — just disruption.

TWO: PRACTICE FIRM FLEXIBILITY

There are two distinct characteristics that draw the line between expats who crush it and expats who end up in the fetal position. They seem contradictory but they are absolutely not.

Flexibility gets the air time. It’s what we put on the application for the expat assignment. It’s what shows up as a red flag on your psych evaluation when you don’t have it.

However — flexibility without firmness is all but a guarantee for failure. Your overseas assignment may be enjoyable if your greatest strength is flexibility but unless your only goal was a good time, you’re unlikely to achieve anything else.

Assignments that succeed have decision-makers. Decisive ones (which sounds redundant but is not a given). People who are willing to chart the course and say “this is absolutely the best direction and this is how we get it done.”

And THEN

When that falls apart (and there’s a good chance it will) flexibility becomes essential.

Solely flexible people get pulled in every direction.

Solely firm people snap when their plan is disrupted.

It is vital to have a plan and equally vital to have the courage to change that plan when the circumstances demand it.

Practice firm flexibility.

THREE: PULL IT OUT OF THE SWIRL

Disruptions may be expected but they are never planned.

“Sorry Coronavirus, this week really isn’t good for me, could we shoot for next Thursday … or … I don’t know, maybe never?”

It doesn’t work like that.

So the instant response is real-time adjustment in your brain — minor and major audibles called while you’re in motion. Sometimes there is a “wait and see” period with the hopes that the setback won’t even be felt or that the challenges will blow over.

Those adjustments build up quickly but until they are clearly identified and laid on top of your plan they will remain in the swirl of things that you are being forced to deal with but not really paying attention to.

So pull it out of the swirl.

Pause for a moment — even when it feels like you can’t. A critical moment to reflect on the impact of disruption could save you weeks of recovering from it later. Do it early, often, and to the best of your ability.

Ask yourself (and your team or family if applicable) some hard questions and be prepared to be brutally honest.

What is the unavoidable impact of this disruption?

What is the potential impact?

What are my actual losses?

What are my perceived losses?

Is there a potential gain in all of this?

What am I telling myself that is NOT true?

What adjustments need to be made?

Once you’ve gotten clear about the reality of this disruption you can stop pretending like nothing has changed. Then you can plug those realities into the plan and stay on track.

Adjust the plan, not the goal.

FOUR: FIND THE RHYTHM IN THE CHAOS

There’s a difference between someone who can dance and a dancer.

Full disclosure: If we’re speaking literally here — I am neither but follow my metaphor.

To dance, you have to learn the steps. Study hard and wrestle through every movement until you get it just right. Practice until the entire routine is flawless.

But a dancer feels it. They still work hard but the movement is more than rote memorization.

For the dancing person, one misstep or unexpected slip throws the whole thing off. It gets in their head and derails their trajectory. The next steps are a scramble as they try to find their spot and get back on point. They overthink the disruption and it impacts the entire dance.

The dancer though, moves through it. The disruption was just that — a blip in the bigger picture. Their body instinctively finds the rhythm and sets them back on track.

Chaos is often overvalued.

The impact of a disruption is real but that impact gets inflated in your head and consequently destroys things it didn’t need to.

You missed a step. You tripped and fell. Maybe the song stopped and restarted right in the middle.

Find the rhythm and keep dancing.

FIVE: DON’T MISS THE JOY

My plan didn’t work.

I didn’t plan to lose my father.

I never wrote the words, “get separated from my family for six weeks.”

I was not expecting to lose my step-mother.

No one thought Coronavirus would be a good idea.

Those things are hard. Frustrating. Horrible even. Major disruptions to my best-laid plan. They have thrown me off.

AND

BECAUSE of my disruptions …

I have had more beautiful, heartfelt, deep and meaningful moments with people I love this year than any year I can remember.

I got to go home in the middle of the winter which hasn’t happened since the last time someone died.

I road tripped around my home country and caught up with people I haven’t even seen for two decades.

I got to talk about life and death and love and legacy with my kids.

And I got selfies with 500 people which took me exactly 14 weeks … not 5.

I’m an expat.

I planned it that way and one of the realities that comes with that choice is disruption … lots of it.

That doesn’t seem likes it’s going to change anytime soon.

So to miss the joy that comes with it — would be a tragedy.

Find the joy in your disruption … and keep moving forward.

Got a story of disruption? How did you deal with it? Share below.