spoiler alert: There is a free ebook at the end of this post.
I’m excited about something but not because it’s profound. I’m excited because it’s simple.
So simple.
Like insanely simple but I’m watching it work already.
Here’s the dilemma. I’m a parent AND an expat. If you’re not in that same boat you can imagine some of the challenges. If you are in that boat you can feel them.
You know about the internal, nagging whispers of, “am I TOTALLY screwing up my kids by doing this?” You understand the quest for solidity in a life of unending transition. You can grasp the hope for deep connections in an experience that is defined by its disconnections.
Amen?
Anyone?
The challenges are multiple, legit and generally strike a chord with the whole boat.
But the good stuff is REALLY good.
It’s a lot to process and believe me, I do. Sometimes intentionally but I don’t have to flip an “on” switch, it’s just my reality. It’s in my face, all the time, so my opinions, my understanding, and my paradigms are always being formed and reformed whether or not I even know it is happening.
Here’s the simple thing that I’m excited about. If I am constantly processing the paradox of this life abroad — then so is the rest of my family.
There is SO MUCH GOLDEN INSIGHT about this crazy, cross-cultural life packed away just behind their eyeballs.
What energizes them?
What frustrates them?
What confuses them?
What are they most looking forward to AND most afraid of?
What excites me is that all of that is available to me just for the asking . . . if I ask.
Typically though . . . I don’t.
I say, “Hey.”
“How ya’ doin’?”
“How was your day?”
It’s kind of like digging for potatoes in a gold mine.
I like potatoes but come on . . . GOLD.
So I’m trying to figure out how to dig for that gold in my own home and I’m starting by asking questions about my global family . . . to my global family. Not profound questions — simple ones — but deeper than “how was your day?” Questions that focus on the paradox of loving at least two places. Questions that root around in the messiness of living as a family of bumbling foreigners, perpetually on the edge of significant change.
This is what I’m finding — The questions may be simple but the answers are pure and priceless.
Sometimes it’s a nugget that I never imagined was sitting right there.
Sometimes we find things we weren’t even looking for.
Sometimes there is no answer at all but the conversation itself is the rich bit.
Sometimes it’s awkward and weird and it feels like we’re trying too hard so we move on but even then, we learn something.
Regardless — It’s always better than potatoes.
I wrote down 99 questions that I want to ask my family and I’d love to share them with you so you can ask yours too.
If you’re not already on my mailing list just enter your address below to get this in ebook form (you are literally two clicks away). If you are on my email list then check your inbox.
This is the follow up to 99 Questions for Global Friends, another simple little ebook that applies the same principle to your cross-cultural relationships.
You can have that one too for zero extra clicks.
Now. Start digging.
GET 99 QUESTIONS
FOR GLOBAL FAMILIES
Quality conversation starters for families crossing cultures
If this is helpful, let me know. I love hearing global people stories.
If you know someone who might be able to use this, send this post or share it on your socials.
Your post made me sweat a little. That sweat from realizating that I stumble into lazy questions with my kids’ international experience all the time. I feel a bit guilty with my complete inability to think creatively about how to truly engage my children’s cross cultural lives. So with that, thank you for continuing to offer tools that help me look like I know what I’m doing!